From The Onion…

ROCHESTER, NY—Sean Ridgeway, a 36-year-old carpenter who is fond of popular rock ‘n’ roll music from the late 1960s to the present, told reporters Monday that he has somehow discovered a radio station with a format that matches his tastes exactly.

“I’m telling you, [93.2 FM] the Beast has it all,” said Ridgeway, [...]