I consider myself a straight, yet open-minded fashionista. It’s true.

And while I typically try to abstain from commenting on pop culture’s current taste in apparel, I was forced to make an exception when presented with what some are calling the “Revolucion de Pant” — Lindland’s Cordarounds.

While corduroy was huge in the 80s thanks to Michael J. Fox and the Liberal “Look Mom ­— ribbed pants!” Movement, they were recently brought back by the grunge, skater and stoner culture. (Some credit Old Navy. Others credit Tony Danza.) Meanwhile, down in a San Francisco basement, Cordarounds founder and president Chris Lindland’s crotch was heating up, and he couldn’t take it any longer.

The result was horizontally-striped corduroy pants that claim to put an end to the static electricity and crotch heat of vertically-lined cords. (Yes ladies, it’s one of those things like swimming pool shrinkage men rarely like to admit in public. But it happens.)

Based in San Francisco, Lindland started the company only five months ago with an online store opening in January 2005. Cordarounds have now sold out three production runs — thanks largely to a piece in the New York Times and being named Yahoo’s site of the day in early March. Subsequently, everyone from David Letterman to Tony the Tiger is getting a piece of ribbed pant action. They’re grrreat!

As someone who wears corduroy pants quite often, I’m dying to try these babies out and see if the rumors are true. Be sure to check out their web site for some pseudo-scientific illustrations of Cordarounds aerodynamics and innate ability to lower one’s crotch heat index.

The site also provides a roadmap for their corporate growth. They claim that an evil multinational corporation has to start somewhere, and as they state directly on the site ­they’ve started with pants. What’s next? Lindland tells us they’ll be offering seersucker pants for spring! Last one to the golf course is Alex P. Keaton!

Are Cordarounds an invention more impactful than sliced bread? The Chia Pet? We sat down with Cordarounds founder and president Chris Lindland to get the skinny on the latest and greatest straight thing to come out of San Fran since Rice-A-Roni.

MONKEYCUBE: Who decided there was a need for further breakthroughs in corduroy pants technology?

LINDLAND: I did. In the same way the Earl of Sandwich turned the unpopular, vertically-oriented meat and bread column into the snack sensation we all know and love, I too saw the need for horizontality in something that was traditionally vertically-oriented.

Despite your claim, has anyone’s vertical corduroy pants ever ACTUALLY started on fire?

To start a fire, when lacking flint, survivalists recommended jogging in place wearing vertical corduroy pants, then inserting twigs and kindling between your legs when your crotch is glowing red. I’ve never seen this performed, but I trust survivalists.

Will this line get me laid at the bar: “Most girls like my pants like they like my condoms — ribbed.”

I would love to say, that works 53% of the time or 77% of the time, but, unfortunately, we don’t have the data. You or your readers may apply for a Cordarounds research grant and test this on a sample population of 100 women if you’d like.

Where would you rate this invention compared to the printing press, sliced bread, the Garden C.L.A.W. from Garden Weasel, and the Shiwalla?

Less important than math, but more important than manners.

Where did the idea for corduroy originally come from?

It was originally worn by French Royalty. The name “Cord du Roy” means “Cloth of Kings”.

How is corduroy/are cordarounds made? Do you shear the pants like a sheep after they’re finished?

As you know, corduroy is mined. What’s more interesting is the multimillion dollar lathe we’ve designed to turn corduroy at a laser-perfect, 90 degree angle.

Tell us about some of your unusual marketing efforts to spread the word about this new type of pant.

We send powerpoint presentations to business development executives at Fortune 500 companies asking to enter into a strategic partnership or acquisition discussions (I’m serious about this).

Any celebrities sporting Cordarounds around Hollywood?

David Letterman ordered a pair.

Ever thought of teaming up with UK-Acid-Jazz band Corduroy for a promotional partner?

Whatever it takes to help them go platinum.

What’s the strangest thing (besides Cordarounds) that has ever come out of the pant industry?

Cordarounds aren’t strange. You can only notice the difference when you look closely. It’s a subtle fashion statement. As for the strangest thing that’s come out of the fashion industry … hmmmm … in the future people will say it’s vertical corduroy pants.

If you were stranded on an island, fashioned a boat out of coconut husks and tried to sail your way to safety, would corduroy or denim be a better fabric to create a sail from? Why?

But why would I create a sail when I could build a corduroy submarine?

Are you familiar with the Corduroy Bear and book series? Do you plan a children’s line with Corduroy Bear’s evil twin Cordaround?

Never heard of it. But Cordaround wouldn’t be evil, he’d be more like Snoopy’s cousin Spike.

Where exactly does pocket lint come from, and why?

Angels, but only the programmers at CBS know the answer to this.

Why do all zippers have the letters “ykk” on them?

They are to zippers what Microsoft is to software.

If corduroy was a flavor of ice cream, what kind of topping would you put on it?

Angelina Jolie.

How many shaved and purple-painted squirrels can you fit in the pockets of Cordarounds?

Don’t know. I’ve donated all of mine to charity.